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Thread: Joke Of The Day...

  1. Join Date
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    Cmadison26's Avatar

    Joke Of The Day...

    Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

    Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

    After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

    Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

    When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

    Jim quickly dressed and left.

    As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

    With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

    Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'
    Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'OK, good, he came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

    Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player
    Those Who Can't Do, Watch. Those Who Can, Teach! So, Learn From Me!!

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    brandy1112's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    lmfao that was funny as hell

  3. Join Date
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    jaycism's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    lol cmad. i think that she is a good and bad wife. good cause she got the money. bad cause she gave up the poonanny to get it
    E R A S E the JAYCISM and when i eat breakfast, I'm a cereal killa

  4. teckthegreatteckthegreat is offline Becoming known around here teckthegreat is on a distinguished road
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    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    good one lol

  5. Join Date
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    BUNK's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    I have heard that one before but cmad...it just as funny now as the first time I heard it...lol
    BUNK

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    BUNK's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    The Itch
    >
    > Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with large
    > breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for
    > this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would
    > be death should he try to touch them, but he had to
    > try.
    >
    > One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
    > Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio
    > thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick
    > to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000
    > gold coins to arrange it. Without
    > pause Nick readily agreed to the
    > scheme.
    >
    > The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and
    > poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she
    > bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and
    > grew intense.. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to
    > address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen
    > that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would
    > cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only
    > the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the
    > itch.
    >
    > The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to
    > their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the
    > antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his
    > mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately
    > on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The
    > Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left
    > satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his
    > chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000
    > gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick
    > couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could
    > never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told
    > him to get lost.
    >
    > The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same
    > itching powder into the King's underwear. The King
    > immediately summoned Nick.
    >
    > The moral of the story.............
    >
    >
    >
    > Pay your bills.
    BUNK

  7. I AM OZI AM OZ is offline Becoming known around here I AM OZ is on a distinguished road
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    I AM OZ's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    Nice one...I am fixin to post one that will have you rolling...LOL..Ya gotta check it out!!!!

  8. Join Date
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    jaycism's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    Quote Originally Posted by BUNK View Post
    The Itch
    >
    > Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with large
    > breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for
    > this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would
    > be death should he try to touch them, but he had to
    > try.
    >
    > One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
    > Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio
    > thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick
    > to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000
    > gold coins to arrange it. Without
    > pause Nick readily agreed to the
    > scheme.
    >
    > The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and
    > poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she
    > bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and
    > grew intense.. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to
    > address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen
    > that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would
    > cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only
    > the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the
    > itch.
    >
    > The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to
    > their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the
    > antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his
    > mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately
    > on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The
    > Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left
    > satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his
    > chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000
    > gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick
    > couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could
    > never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told
    > him to get lost.
    >
    > The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same
    > itching powder into the King's underwear. The King
    > immediately summoned Nick.
    >
    > The moral of the story.............
    >
    >
    >
    > Pay your bills.
    lmao BUNK that is so funny i liked it alot. if that doesnt get you to pay your bills than i dont know what will
    E R A S E the JAYCISM and when i eat breakfast, I'm a cereal killa

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    BUNK's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    maybe that's why my brother doesn't pay his bills...cause i think he would enjoy that...lol ( i had to say it...sorry brother!)
    BUNK

  10. Join Date
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    jaycism's Avatar

    Re: Joke Of The Day...

    Quote Originally Posted by BUNK View Post
    maybe that's why my brother doesn't pay his bills...cause i think he would enjoy that...lol ( i had to say it...sorry brother!)
    yikes. that doesnt sound good at all lol. but like i say... to each his own. thats not my cup of tea
    E R A S E the JAYCISM and when i eat breakfast, I'm a cereal killa

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